Playroom Mess

I would like some feedback on my unintentional models below. I am still sitting with these emotions and not ready to go to an intentional. Plus, I am so caught in my own mind that I can’t see the R and need feedback and other questions to write about. This is such a tough subject with me and I want to work through it.

I am getting off a weekend that was quite emotional for me — stressed, frustrated, anxious, angry. Son received so many toys and I was freaking out about how messy the playroom is. They don’t even know where to put the toys and he feels upset too. The upsetting part for me is the waste. There are all these little pieces that go to something that we have no idea where that something is. I want to throw it all away and be done with it. Get it out of my sight and make some space with order. Having too much stuff makes me feel disorganized and very uncomfortable. My head hurts thinking about it. I want to go straight to the action and get in there and clean it up. I feel so overwhelmed with so many toys because it’s so wasteful. These toys will hopefully end up in hands of other children, and/or eventually in the landfill. I don’t buy the kids many toys because of that. It is Christmas and birthdays that they mostly receive. There’s another part of me that is thinking about the value of the toy and doesn’t want to just give it away. I don’t like that feeling of holding on for value sake. Then it’s scarcity, like when they are older maybe they will want their toys for their children. But honestly, I can’t even imagine having an attic full of toys for keepsakes. That just isn’t who I am. I get it from my mom, we don’t hold on to things. It becomes very emotional. I want to go through that playroom and organize every single part of it.

C: Kid’s playroom
T: There are too many toys in here.
F: Overwhelmed
A: Yell at Sammy, start furiously cleaning up the house, look at my calendar and plan a day to go through the playroom when kids are at school, process the feeling and sit with the discomfort

C: Son argued with me about cleaning up playroom
T: He’s so ungrateful for all his new toys.
F: Angry
A: Yell at son for not cleaning up playroom, I start going through stuff in the playroom, I yell at husband, I am on fire and scare my daughter because of my yelling,