Processing anger towards an employer

I am feeling extremely angry and consumed by a tax situation involving a former employer. While I was working there I noticed the owner was a very bad business person – not paying employees or suppliers, always creating “fires” that she was running around to put out. I stopped working there after two months.

Now a year later, I haven’t gotten my tax refund yet and must submit certain document to the IRS. This employer has been extremely noncooperative, disappearing for many days at a time after promising to send important documents. Recently she sent the requested document and it did not match what she had given me to file my taxes with. The new document says she didn’t take any taxes out. The old document that I filed said she did. She is now telling me the new document is correct. It doesn’t add up, I am suspicious she withheld the taxes and didn’t pay the IRS. But it’s difficult to say as she has become nonresponsive again and is not sending other documents I need. I am spending hours of my life on hold trying to talk to the IRS and figure out what to do. And I’m FURIOUS. I am having a hard time processing the anger and I know it’s ultimately not serving me in this situation. But I am filled with rage at the incompetency and lack of respect this person is demonstrating. And I see that I’m giving her a lot of power here around my mood and of course she’s the last fucking person I want to trust with my emotions!!

This process feels like it’s taking over too much of my life.

I’m feeling calmer than I was earlier, when I was feeling overwhelmed by my anger towards this person and situation, but I’d love some help navigating this. Thank you!