Purpose Dilemma

After 6 months of enduring a toxic and volatile work environment, I was laid off. I continue to work on reframing my thoughts about the whole experience, which left me processing through thoughts of anger, hurt, resentment and indignation to name a few. It also left me shell-shocked with a sort of PTSD.

Nevertheless, I have done the usual steps submitting job applications to collect unemployment. Just so happens, I was given an offer for a position, but that would result in $27K less than my previous job.

Meanwhile, I have also been taking steps to establish a work from home business but have not firmed up my target market or service/product offerings.

One more piece to add for good measure is that I am also the caregiver for both of my parents who are living with me and my husband. I take care of all their finances, medication, Dr appointments, errands, and meal prep.

Soon after being laid off, my father was having severe back pains which resulted in having a series of physical therapy appointments scheduled. Then he needed dental work which also requires a series of appointments.

Finally, my uncle (father’s younger brother) was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and given 2-7 days. As such, we have been visiting him at the hospital daily, taking up almost half the day for over 10 days now. Yes, he exceeded their expectations but the prognosis is still that he could go at any time now.

Here are all the thoughts and circumstances that are swimming in my head:

1) I’m not sure I want to go back to working in a corporate office again and especially not for almost half of what I used to make.

2) I would prefer to establish my own business but I have a lot of fear around that. What if I can’t earn enough?

3) Working for another company would mean stable income and health insurance. However things could change in an instant again and I would be out once more.

4) Being on my own offers a ton of flexibility to take care of family matters, however I’m not guaranteed my income.

I need help making the decision. I know what I would prefer (not going back to work for a company), but am I being selfish or irresponsible? We certainly do need the finances, so I would need to replace my income within a few months or by the end of this year. How do I work through this to make the best choice?