Running from it all

I have a lot swirling in my brain so here goes! I just got coaching on MHO and scarcity mindset within that. I’m going to write down what I just uncovered after the session in a thought download.

Reasons for wanting to better manage my time:
I need to hurry up and get on the LCS website
I need to get my own website up and running (so I can get on the website)
I need to hurry up and get hired by them because there are so many coaches getting certified and there won’t be room for me to contribute

So I asked, how is that not true? Do I really “Need to” do those things?
I don’t need to. I just feel like it’s a “need” because I’m trying to rush.

So I asked, why are you trying to rush?
Because I want to be able to think of myself as successful. Getting all of these done is apart of how I am currently defining successful

So I asked, what’s stopping you from believing that now? (Here are allllll the thoughts that came up)
I’m not as good as the coach who just coached me (who was literally amazing, btw)
I won’t be able to be as good as her
How does she do that?
I don’t know how to coach like that
See? Maybe I should work for the school instead of working on a business (so I can grow as a coach)
Maybe I’m not ready to go out on my own yet
Then I certainly won’t be good enough to get hired as is
I need more time with concepts; to learn (then I can feel more confident)
The only way I can do that is through MHO
But I don’t have time for that
I don’t know enough

In general, I have a feeling of inadequacy when these thoughts come up.
I want to gain leverage over my brain and start poking holes in these thoughts. I know they are holding me back from great things. I am so capable of doing amazing things and helping people. And I know I’m a good coach. So there is some belief here on the opposite side of it all. But I also wanted to get another perspective to help me move through this. Especially because in midst of this thought download, my brain darted over into the land of self-judgment and wanted to beat myself up for making mistakes as a mom (from this AM and last night). Which I got really curious about. It felt like my brain wanted a way to distract from all of this stuff. To avoid the painful thoughts I wrote down. Really interesting over all.

Thank you so much for your time!