Scheduling barrier

I have been doing the self-coaching around thinking of myself as someone who has achieved her desired R: line. I find myself setting goals and then not doing even the baseline because I”m thinking “the baseline is not enough” and on the other hand thinking, “I do not have time to create what I want to create.” However, I know that’s not true. One of the ways I know it is that I always meet and exceed my minimum baselines for my children, husband, for my clients, for friends, even for exercise.

But when it comes to my writing and art the last few months, I am so resistant. I think I want and need to schedule time for these things and not just hope enough time will be left over. And that’s definitely how my future/dreams achieved self would do it. But I am not doing it. I had even decided for July to be the month of 100 B- paintings. I’ve done 5 and I don’t think they are even B-‘s.
But although I decided for that goal for July – until this week I did not have a single spot on our family’s google calendar scheduled for painting. Then this week I wrote it in for the week, thinking it would help motivate me. But instead I just feel a more acute bad feeling about not doing it.

What would you do?

Thank you!!!