Sex after surgery

Hi Brooke,

10 months ago I had a pelvic wall prolapse that resulted in hysterectomy, bladder repair, and general reconstruction. I was not allowed to have sex for 12 weeks following the surgery, and when we finally could it was so painful. It remained painful for months and months. I went to the doctor, and she assured me this was all normal and would eventually stop. Well, she was right–and now it finally doesn’t hurt–but this whole process completely killed my desire. My husband and I used to have an awesome sex life, and now I have no interest whatsoever. Even though there isn’t any more pain most of the time, it still doesn’t feel good like it used to, and I am just generally uninterested. It’s like it killed that part of me! My doctor assures me none of this is medical, so I have got to develop some new thoughts around all of this. I feel guilty for not being the partner my husband used to have, I’m frustrated with my body, and I don’t know how to generate a desire with my thoughts that my body doesn’t agree with. Where would you start with this? Thank you