Sick or Lazy?

In starting the Self-Confidence materials, I did a thought download and see a recurring theme; not feeling well physically and having the thought I am doing something wrong because I am not well and vital and energetic today. There are too many days like that. I have done several models, but the intentional thoughts don’t ring true enough to change the feeling. Following through on what I say I am going to do for myself is probably the major sticking point in my life (this morning it was a bike ride, but I don’t feel like it now). I am great on following through with other people, but I am beginning to see that might be a buffer for dealing with myself.
C-Daily schedule starting with bike ride
T-I can’t follow through
F- helpless, guilty, powerless
A-spin in circles writing about it
R-nothing gets done on my list

C-Daily schedule starting with ride
T-I can respect the way my body feels and rest.
F- (no sense of release or lightness here. not believing the thought.)
Such a strong resistance to doing anything right now. Thoughts of “leave her alone and let her rest” fighting with “there are things to do and you need to get on it and quit being lazy, using health as an excuse”. Stuck in a loop here.