Social Life

I’m trying to find the place of enjoying conversations rather than analyzing conversations. I feel like I’m missing out on the just hanging out and just letting someone be who they are versus catching all the “thoughts” and biting my tongue.
Here are my models:
C: friends
T: if they only knew the power of those thoughts
F: Sad
A: Dont engage
R: I have no idea what they just said.

I’m struggling with believing a second model because I get all wrapped up in the first one still. Here is one I can believe but am struggling with the result. Is it possible to have this second model be ok..In an off centered way?
C: Friends
T: I love them
F: love
A: listen
R: still feel bad because I know what they’re missing.
What are your thoughts?