Started painting and feeling weird

Hello, will be brief , here is what i need help with: since last week i became obsessed with painting , i never studied and believe that i can do it-
C- painted 3 paintings
T- i am delusional , my art sucks
F- defeated
A- ruminating on how stupid my idea was to even start, stop painting
R- proved my own point- start and stop when it gets hard

Intentional model:
C-painted 3 paintings
T-I love doing it and it does not matter if it’s good, i am playing with it and learning
F- excited
A-keep working on the same 3 paintings to perfect it
R- finished work that i actually love and not embarassed to show others

want to believe this model, but difficult, may be i can have a suggestion on a bridge thought