Stay or leave -lp

I’m watching the webinar on speed coaching and you said some people stay because they’re afraid to leave and others don’t stay because they’re afraid to stay.

The reason I joined scholars is because I have the thoughts I hate my job and I hate myself. I know I’ve made progress but still feel like I’m not really getting clear on what’s going on here, whether to stay or leave. Katie helped me identify that I haven’t left because I think I suck and so it’s more comfortable to stay where I’m at than to risk going somewhere else and fail even though I feel like I’m failing where I am. Like, I can’t shake the thought that I suck. It’s like I double down on believing it every time. I’m pretty sick of these thoughts and this model. Maybe I need to not be sick of it and have compassion for it? I just keep spinning in this tangled up cycle of self-loathing. It’s like I’m making myself stay here because I hate myself. I’m not interested in it really. I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to go to the conferences or take the classes or anything. How do I figure out if I’m staying because I’m afraid or what?