The Past and Future

This month has so far been a bit uncomfortable–reviewing my past. I have never been married–this week I looked up old flames on FB, and after seeing their photos 40 years later it’s- “Oh, it is ok we broke up” – yeah a bit judgmental. I have also realized how great my life has been, travel, jobs, city life, etc. What I am struggling now is the future–I drink when I’m bored. What do I want to do with my life now?
Can ‘t afford to retire yet and do I want to or do I want to do something that is fulfilling? I am a bit stuck–and I am starting to beat myself up for my love on Pinot Grigio.