The thought "I will be better equipped to do this in the future."


I noticed a pattern in my behavior. I’ll have a creative project that requires some responsibility on my end, and I have thoughts like “I’ll know more about this later” or “I’ll do a better job after I’ve learned more.” And those thoughts all seem to be built ontop of “What I can do now is not good enough.”

Here is an example that is currently playing out in my life. About a month ago, I volunteered to contribute to a friend’s album. I could have given him something that day, but I felt like if I wait, I’ll do better. Now he’s waiting for my submission, and I’m still only as good as I was a month ago!

C- Julien’s album
T- I’ll be able to do something better in the future
F- avoidant
A- wait until outside forces (Julien) nudge me to get going. Freakout. Spend a lot of time learning and experimenting in a way that does not help me, but spend no time on the actual project. Change my mind, change projects, and indulge in indecision.
R- I turn around projects slowly. I don’t feel good or excited about my work. I feel pain when I see other people’s contributions and I am still avoiding mine.

Could you help me unpack this?

Thanks a lot!