Thinking about the past

I’ve decided to make a career change.

I have decided on the exact timing of everything, but I made the simple decision that if I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, I also don’t have to tolerate a job I don’t like.

I want to think about the past in a way that serves me moving forward, but I’m finding myself looking for all the ways I screwed up and how it’s all my fault. Either I could have forced myself to do do better at a job I don’t like, or if I could have only just managed my mind better, or maybe I should have had more confidence and not chosen this job I didn’t like in the first place.

I think I’m scared to let go of the self-criticism because I’m afraid I’ll somehow loose the ability to make better choices in the future.