Thinking Ourselves Into Better-ness

So you say that when we overeat, overdrink, or overspend, we use these external substances in order to make us feel that our life is better than they are.
Like in the example of drinking alcohol so the party we are at will look more awesome than it is.

Then I understand that the only option is letting people be who they are and question my negative thoughts on them or their behavior and change my thoughts so that I will find the good in them and accept them.

Let’s take a spouse example – say I am unhappy with my spouse choice for many reasons. Sure, I can find many reasons why he is a good person and behaviors I do like about him, but if I change how I think about my spouse, haven’t I used thinking as a sort of substance in order to create a supposedly better picture of my life?
Isn’t it that ultimately we found that button in our brain and we say, ‘Hey! Look at that, I can just change this sentence and my reality won’t look as bad. Let’s do more of that!’
But we ended up actually settling for less than we could?