Troubled Relationship with My Mom

Hi, Brooke,

Thank you in advance for taking my question…

I’m having trouble applying the model, and several of the other teachings, actually, to my relationship with my mom.

Without sending you a novel, I will just say that, my relationship with my mom has always been difficult, painful, rocky, etc…, and, from my perspective, even as a very small child, it has to do with her neglect in important situations. My mom has left me and my sister alone when we were way too young to be left alone, and actually got in trouble for it with authorities, and our whole lives my mom would shirk responsibility in many other areas off to other family members or just in general.
There is a LOT more I could share, but, I will leave it at this. This is a commonly held belief among other family members and also even some of her long time friends.

I am not saying this now to blame in any way. What I am trying to convey and get it is that, it took me a loooooooooong time to figure out why I was so angry, so resentful, and had such deep seated feelings of worthlessness.

Now that I see this, and I have *somewhat* accepted my mom for who she is, we have a surface-close relationship.

But, as she is getting older, and she is alone, I find that she is expecting things from me, and for me to be there, in ways that she never, ever was for me. And, I want no part of it. She expects me to be a daughter that she did not raise, and, in her own mind, she deserves to be treated in ways that she did not cultivate in a daughter. I am in Dallas now, but, have plans to move out of state eventually. I know she is not happy about that decision, but, honestly, at this point, and after all the stuff we’ve been through, it’s not really negotiable.

As horrible as that sounds, it’s the truth. And, no matter how many models I do and how many techniques I apply, I don’t want to be something that I am not, even for my mom.

There are a lot of subtle details to this story, but, i hope this is enough to get at least some feedback and guidance, and I appreciate your help. Also, is this something that I might be able to get live coaching on?

Thank you!