weight facts vs thoughts

Hi I am doing my own work on buffering. I have buffered with overeating that got me gain some belly fat, then I buffered for a long time with exercise and restricting calories, which brought me to be underweight (no life threatening, no anorexic). I am clinically underweight nd that is a fact. All my friends and family consider my weight to be too low and that I should just eat and give more into the pleasure of food whenever I feel like, and this is a thought (theirs). My question relates to the work of this month then. As all circumstances I need to consider my weight neutral. Also, you suggest I consider I am already enough and I do not need to do anything to be more worthy. In my brain this conflicts with the thought “As I am underweight I should gain some weight”. So that I am not allowed to be underweight, with a feeling of obligation, to gain weight. Please help me clear my mind around this, thanks