When people ask "what should I do?"

I have been in SCS for about 3 months and it is simply amazing. Thank you for all the time and effort that goes into this awesome program!

Of course when I started learning I wanted everyone to know all the great things so I talk about it all the time. However, this leads to people sharing their difficulties and asking “what should I do?’ JOIN SCS of course 🙂

One scenario in particular has me thinking and I am hoping you can help. I have heard many times that adults can act however they want, and I agree logically. How do you respond to the question “what should I do?’ when someone you love tells you the following story?

My nephew is in his thirties with a wife and 4 little boys. Both my nephew and his wife have been very devote in their religion since childhood and each purposefully sought out a spouse that shared the same religious beliefs. That is to say that they both put a lot of time into finding a partner that believed as they did so that they could raise a family together in their church.

They have had infertility issues, miscarriages, and all of the boys are products of in-vitro. This has caused a lot of stress for my niece hormonally and emotionally. After the twins were born my niece began to question her devotion to their religion citing past experiences with judgmental church members that made her feel bad as a child for not having a father and her mother kicking her brother out of the house at age 14 because he would not attend church. She has described this as a “lifetime of putting small things on a shelf until there are so many small things that the shelf crashes down and there is nothing left to do but face everything”.

She broke this news to my nephew rather suddenly, that she will no longer be a member of the church that they have built their up to now lives on, and she will not rest until my nephew is no longer a member too. He said they are fighting constantly when prior they argued very rarely.

For him it means that his family is split now, and in order to keep the peace he will have to give up all the ideas he believes. ( AS I AM TYPING THIS I can see that this is just a result of his thinking because his family is together now and peace is a feeling you can have in any building). For her it means freedom and making her own choices and a judgement free zone.

So, how should I respond to his “what should I do?”