Writing an impossible goal when you feel impossibly lost…

Last year at this time I was fired from what I thought was my dream job. My entire career and adult life has been about making money, getting a fancy title, and moving up the career ladder. I did it – I was making a ton of money working for the world’s leading tech/entertainment company. I had made it. Then I let my brain get hijacked and I turned my mental messages and fears into a reality. It was the best thing to have happened to me. As a result of that experience I am becoming a better person focusing less on my career and money and more on who I am as a person.

But I feel my old habits of money and job obsession creeping back into what defines me. Oh and I hate the field I work in – I work in strategic HR helping companies grow and scale their business. The challenge is I always put the people first and most corporations do not – this was why I got fired. I did’t “fit the culture” because I wouldn’t up and fire someone who was no longer an A player – I believe in coaching people. Everywhere I have worked focuses on the bottom line and profit.

I’ve spent the last year working to become a different person – someone who can bring humanity back to corporate america. And I am failing. Every company is the same. And the problem is I am really good at my job – but I hate it. Love helping people, hate the environments I am hired into. I have created a professional niche where I am hired to fix organizations, teams, and people but soon into the gig, I become frustrated by all the issues, I judge the leaders who I believe should know how to run their teams, and I start to check out … I’ve done this cycle 4 times in 4 years. I can land jobs that most people would kill to have – then I either mess it up with my thinking or check out.

My wants and desires are conflicted. I do not want to work in HR anymore (no clue what I want to do) but I want the paycheck. I’ve been hired by some of the best organizations at amazing salaries and still cannot make it work – or rather, I am not happy.

How do I create a goal that meets my financial needs while also helping me figure out who I want to be as a human being and professional?
How do I write a goal to get unstuck when I have zero idea what I want my life to look like a year from now?
How do I get myself back on track to start caring about my job and move beyond the idea of just collecting a paycheck?
How do I write an impossible goal for 2019 when I don’t know myself well enough to create a goal I really want?