2 layers of stress


Hi Team Brooke,

I’ve been “stressed” for so many years now. And I don’t want to anymore. But feel like there’s no alternative if I want to succeed. Of course I know that it is a thought (there’s no alternative). So I try to get deeper and I found “2 Layers” and would be happy on any thoughts/inputs:

1) By setting enormous goals I really came to a point in my life where I have more success than I would have ever thought possible. Instead of working as a psychotherapist in a solo practice, I now have 2 group practices (one of them a future trauma center), with 6 therapists working for me. I also am the head of a training institute for future therapists. Now I guess it’s time to re-structure a bit. I do all the things myself, besides paying a psychology student to take the phone. And occasionally another student to do some research for blog posts. I find it hard to imagine in what areas additional help might even be a possibility, as most things seem to be very much dependent on me personally (like speaking with the therapists, developing ideas and implementing them for the training center etc). There’s not SO much of that small stuff that I could give to someone else – what really is time demanding are the central things – and many of them (developing and discussing therapy concepts and material, setting up processes, discussions with the banks and tax people, -> Ideas?
2) Maybe more interesting (so to say): My thoughts…. by doing many thought downloads and models I’m realizing that I talk a lot about being stressed and tired. It’s like I want everybody to see and acknowledge it. Then people start saying things like “work less” and I make that mean they don’t understand me/don’t see me/don’t value what I do (I really think nobody sees the amount of work I’m doing, as I work at different places and they only see a fraction of what I do at every place – but who cares?) -> F: Angry/feel misunderstood – A: withdraw from those people, fill time with work – R: great success at work, immense stress…
So I’m trying to find an alternative model….

Original one:
C: I’m seeing a friend, she asks “how are you doing”
T: I want her to know how much I’m doing
F: needy
A: Tell her how stressed I am
R: She criticizes me for overworking

=> All of that becomes new C
T: How dare she! I have no alternative to do my overworking
F: Angry
A: withdraw
R: working more by lack of alternative (a bit exaggerated, but…)

Conscious Model:
C: Friend asks….
T: How nice I’ve got friends who are interested in me
F: joyful
A: Tell her a tiny bit of my situation (if at all) and ask her back about herself
R: good conversation, me being nurtured and strengthened

Very much looking forward to your feedback!