A Less In-Your-Face Style

Hello Coaches,
This week, I’m thinking about my style of coaching. I’m exploring ways I can introduce challenging concepts (like their victim mentality) to new clients without sending them into a defensive space. Do you have any suggestions of how I might phrase a statement or question so that they are less triggered into defensiveness and more open to seeing the new door I’m opening for them?

Here are some thoughts I had:

1. Although you might not be able to change PERSON, or how they show up, you most certainly have the power to think about the situation differently.
2. Why do you need to believe that PERSON’s actions are causing your feelings? (Client responds with “because that’s the truth, that’s what happened” and I counter with, “What if there is another way to think about their actions?”)
3. Nobody can hurt us without our permission. Why are you choosing to allow her to hurt you?

I’d love any feedback, but would very much appreciate a few more statements/questions to help her without triggering her.