Yesterday, my client got really frustrated with me that I didn’t commiserate with her victim story. When I tried to show her that her thoughts, not other people’s actions, were the cause of her feelings, she got very defensive. Then she launched into, “You don’t understand what I’m saying and you clearly don’t understand my situation”.

We have another session coming up soon and I am wondering if these questions might be helpful if this reaction occurs again:

• What would it mean to you if I believed that person X is causing your feelings
• How would it make you feel if I believed that your circumstances, and not your thoughts, are the cause of your feelings

If there are any other “power questions” that you think I could try, I’d love to learn about others for this particular scenario. Thank you.