Been at this for 16 years; making not much $

Quit my corporate marketing job in 2004. Went back to school and got a masters in nutrition (and had 2 babies) – that took 9 years total. Have been in virtual private practice for 7 years. So it’s been 16 years since I quit my old job to pursue a different industry (nutrition, weight loss, coaching).

For those 16 years, I have spent almost $100,000 on school, secondary coaching certifications (not The Life Coach School), professional dues, insurance, monthly subscriptions (scheduler, electronic patient charting, etc.) and other business expenses (website, etc.). From the time when I started seeing clients 7 years ago to today, I have made a total of $35,000. Total. Not per year. So an average of $5000 per year the past 7 years.

Granted I have been raising a family, but I’m sad/frustrated/depressed about not making at least what I was making per year in my old job. Lots of thoughts about “I can’t have what I want.” “I’ll never make it as an entrepreneur.” “I should just quit now.” “Why couldn’t I have found The LCS before giving money to other programs?” “I make bad decisions when it comes to designing programs for clients.”

I’ve gained 30 pounds over the past 5 years due to my buffering with food (because I want to be further along in my business) so now on top of it all, I feel like a fraud when coaching weight loss clients. I’m doing models and they help, but I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. My husband is supportive financially and emotionally but he’s about ready for me to get a “job” and that makes me cry. I launched a group weight loss program this year (charged very little in return for testimonials). I spent hours redoing it after feedback (new module scripts, recorded the lessons with Powerpoint, writing a guide to go with it, developed meal plans, worksheets, hosting live weekly calls with me, offering one on one coaching) and now, I’m hearing the program is too much. I put too much in it. So I need to redo it, again.

I’m procrastinating redoing the program because I keep thinking it won’t be good either. I have had some coaching sessions for this, but I’m still not taking action. I’m wondering if I should just take time off and focus on my health, so I won’t buffer with food while I stress about my business. But then I have thoughts like “I’ll die without realizing my dream of being a successful business owner.” “We’ll never get to do “extra things” because my husband’s salary is capped and I only make $5K/year.”

Do I keep going? I want to do The LCS, but another $20K on top of what we’ve already spent, it’s a hard sell. But I know it can change my life and revive my dreams of being an entrepreneur. I have come so far already and don’t want to give up, but the stress is taking a toll on my health.

Sorry for the book! I’m determined to figure this out. Once I realized how profoundly food affected my health, I wanted to help others recover their health too and now with the mental health work by Brooke, I’m so inspired, but am feeling down right now, especially after realizing I need to redo my program, again. Hours and hours of work…