I need one of you coaches to call me out on my own shit about me being afraid to call my client out on some of her shit.
C: client, coached about 8 weeks so far, she has a mom, her mom is her boss/person she reports to at work, she lives in her mom’s house/basement with her 2 kids
T: She will hate me if I call her out on how she’s blaming her mom for all her problems.
F: Fear
A: Coach my client on only surface-level tactical things
A: Don’t bring up the subject of her conflict with her mom in relation to its effect on my clients results on the things I’m coaching her on (in other words, because she blames her mom for her “inability to be productive” “it’s all her fault I’m late/behind/overwhelmed”, I have a hard time coaching her on time management and productivity)
R: I don’t get to the real issue of my client’s problems.
Part of the problem is that I’m MAKING it a problem that she might potentially (read: doesn’t now or may not ever in the future) hate me for calling her out on something she is resistant to getting coached on.
Maybe she thinks she has a great relationship with her mom and their conflict (my perception thereof) is not a problem? Maybe she thinks she is living her best life right now with the exact relationship she’s having with her mom?
I have not brought it up yet. I’m afraid that if I do bring it up she will get offended and quit on our coaching. I do not want her to quit. Here’s the other thing too, is that I’m actually coaching her for free because she was an old client of mine and she’s my beta tester for my new coaching program I’m creating. So it’s not like I’d really be losing anything in terms of money. But I want to keep her as a client to continue testing material and new concepts on her, and to get feedback on making my program better, which is valuable to me (in place of money).
Why am I so attached to if she works on her relationship with her mom or not? Perhaps I have my own mom issues. Perhaps it’s also the emotional responsibility piece of it. I notice in my client that she’s unwilling to accept emotional responsibility for her results, I’m doing the same thing by blaming my client for “making me feel afraid” – I’m totally onto myself here coaches, and would love some guidance moving forward.
