Can’t Get Past Fear in My Growth Model

I can never get myself to feel a positive feeling about committing to building my own business in a big way. I’ve had a great biz for 10 years, but it was 100% word of mouth and referral. Now that I need to get past 1:1 and promote myself to scale and go digital, everything in me says “UGH!!”

I’ve always had a huge block around self-promotion. Just the word “self-promotion” makes resistance and embarrassment and fear of failure and judgment rise up in me. I’ve tried to model this many ways. Even with great thoughts that intellectually I agree with (I have everything it takes to be successful. The world is waiting for this. People love my work. This will succeed… etc.) the feeling is always negative. My toddler brain screams NOOOOOOOOO! Fear! Shame! Embarrassed! Anxiety!

Is that just the way it is? Can I embrace it as the 50% bad and work with it so it stops stopping me? Or am I supposed to work the model til it feels better?

I know about ladder thoughts like “It’s ok that this feels weird.” or “I’m going to do this even when it sucks.” or “If it doesn’t succeed, I’ll try til I do.” Those just don’t feel motivating, either. The feeling is “meh”So I go back to doing something else and continue to avoid Operation Scale This.