Changing roles


My position at work has changed from me having a general manager role to business development. I used to love my job and was very tight with my boss, the owner of the company. He wanted to implement processes to help us scale and brought in someone who was originally thought to report to me, but now reports to my boss. Things that used to be done collaboratively are now done by them. My boss no longer seeks my input or calls me. At first I was excited by the new direction, and now I don’t like my job. I know I can leave but I don’t want to do it from my current emotional state.

I have done lots of thought downloads and models on what I’m making the change mean and have cleaned up a few that aren’t helping. I am still thinking I miss my old role and tying it to loving my job. I’m feeling a lot of grief, and can’t tell how much to just feel and how to manage that because the R isn’t what I want. I notice I want to move to a new model and that feels possible. Is the sadness something I need to feel or is it indulgent and how do I know the difference?

C – My role at work has changed
T – I miss my old role (I am making the change mean many things – the kindest one is that my boss wants me to focus on things he thinks I’m best at, the worst is that I’m not good at what the company needs)
F – gut-wrenching sadness (the intensity of the emotion almost feels like something died)
A – cry, wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep, indulge in thinking about how the new person is doing things right, don’t move on in new role, don’t engage with family and friends
R – I miss my new job and the rest of my life

I have models built on other thoughts around the C that create emotions I like to feel. One is that my work is to get the company to $4m revenue with a scaleable sales/marketing plan.  Another is:  this is here to help me with my goal of finding my purpose and owning a business that’s aligned in it (I had originally thought that would be by becoming a partner in the one I’m in). Another:  this is here to help me better balance my life with work (work is like my lover – I love being there and give it a lot of my emotional power).

I also notice myself trying to find the things I still love about my job. I can see the truth in these thoughts and at the same time the sadness is so raw right now.