I own a cleaning business and I only own it because I cleaned for people for 10 years and thought it was dumb of me to not have made it an official business
I am the only person that cleans and works and I am tired of cleaning and being involved in any way in the cleaning business. I keep it because I don’t know what else to do that also earns as much as this. I would like to entirely get out of it, but sometimes I wonder if I should go all in and conquer fears of hiring people, because I could potentially earn even more money and be done cleaning.
I am scared that that’s going to take way too much time to get to that point and that my energy would be better spent looking for what else I think I’d rather learn. If I were to stay, I would essentially want the business to run itself. I don’t want to clean. I don’t want to organize and motivate a bunch of people to go get their job done. I don’t want my name to be tainted by hiring the wrong people because I’ve worked hard to be a name that is highly trusted. I also don’t want to be tied down to the city I am in. My dream is to travel and because I don’t know what it involves to manage a company, I’m afraid that growing this will really tie me to it.
I see that that’s like a huge jumble of thoughts so I’m struggling to put it into models and figure it out or maybe I don’t have to have it figured out, but when I get a call for a new client, I almost feel a sense of dread more than excitement for more money because my thought it a sarcastic “whoopee. Another house to clean.”
I don’t feel very proud of myself because this was NEVER what I wanted to do, I just kind of allowed myself to get stuck in it. A lot of people think I should be proud because I have my own business, but it feels like a joke because the only difference between me individually cleaning for people and me owning a business is giving a title and registering it with the state.
But after putting over 10 years into this, completely deleting it seems like such a waste as well. I have a great name and logo and slogan and people love it; I almost wish I could be paid for all that and then have someone else take it and grow it and do what they will with it.
I need help navigating all of my thoughts about this. I never have allowed myself to just shut it down and I have never allowed myself to make it grow and I intellectually understand that neither of those is the wrong decision, but they each feel like bad decisions for different reasons and good decisions for different reasons.