I’ve had a client in two of my programs who is struggling with her commitment to a certain decision. Having coached her several times, it seems she doesn’t commit to any decision (ok–that’s my thought) — she questions the programs she’s in with me, the trainings she’s in professionally, and in one call both expressed uncertainty about the entire premise of the model and asked if I’d hire her to coach for me… using the model.

I’ve shown this to her but she has never in any session fully agreed to anything. Nor has she disagreed. She leaves space to go either way.

I want to be able to be honest with her about what I’m seeing but I have two thoughts…
1. It might be coming from my own impatience, not from holding space and coaching
2. She won’t hear it anyway since she can’t commit to any one thought–so why bother?

I’m starting to feel like I want to avoid her and get resentful when she comes on for coaching. NOT how I want to be showing up!

C Client requests coaching on call
T She won’t commit to anything anyway so she’s wasting all our time
F Resentful
A Worry about the call, don’t bring up what I’m seeing, lean in more as a coach and do the heavy lifting, let her lead the session because I don’t see where this could go, don’t keep her to the usual coaching timeframe
R I waste our time

IM:
C client requests coaching
T this is just one more pattern of thinking–I know what to do
F capable
A hold space, observe her thoughts, be honest with her, no judgement in session, ask her questions, don’t bring past experiences into the session, allow her to do heavy lifting, lead the session
R I show up as the best coach I can be

I’m struggling a bit between the balance between acceptance (of her) vs going for confidence (in my ability to coach her). Maybe the end result isn’t what I’m pushing for. I want to allow her to be as she is and still offer the coaching that I’m able to. My brain goes to… maybe this just isn’t for her right now.