Client unwilling to look at her thoughts


I’ve been coaching one of my clients for almost 4 months now. I’ve taught her The Model, How to Process Emotions, and Ladder Thoughts to choose new ones once she’s ready. However, she juuuust started doing thought downloads and really looking at her thoughts, however, she’s more interested in blaming others than taking responsibility for them. That makes sense to me, her brain is just trying to protect her.

I’ve tried coaching around how her thoughts are both the problem and the solution, but she’s not at all convinced that they’re solution just the problem. We’re at a point where I’m beginning to wonder if she’ll ever take responsibility. If she doesn’t take responsibility, should I keep coaching her?

My thought is that we aren’t making progress. I know intellectually that it’s not true, but I’m not sure how else to coach her from here on out. I guess it all boils down to me thinking she’s not getting results, which also isn’t true. I’m sure she’s getting results I can’t see. I think I’m getting stuck about my responsibility as a coach. I know I’m not responsible for her results, but how do I continue to give her as much value as possible, from love, without taking responsibility? Here are some models I’ve been working on. Thanks!

C: coaching client
T: she’s not taking responsibility
F: frustrated
A: I get annoyed coaching her, I have to self-coach extensively before any conversation, I get impatient, I question if I should fire her, I make it mean that I’m not the right coach for her, I question if this is the kind of client I want in my business, my business is less fun because of how much time and energy I put into her
R: I don’t take responsibility for my business (YIKES)

C: coaching client
T: Her results are not my responsibility
F: confused
A: I disconnect from her, I engage less, I give her shorter answers that are more to-the-point, I have the thought that I’m insensitive because I engage in her drama less (lol), I don’t look for ways to explain things in a new or more clear way
R: I don’t take any responsibility for her results.