Coaching vs being bossy

Intellectually, I understand the flow of a coaching session. I haven’t been coaching for long, but the majority of the sessions I’ve had have felt mostly useful and a good mix between coaching and teaching. My new client has thrown a wrench in my confidence and understanding of what I’m doing. Which is ok as it gives me a chance to look at my thoughts and reassess what I’m doing.
I would like help with what I’ve come up against though. The woman has had a lot of trauma recently and is in confusion and victim mood. I found myself being more “ hey, I can help you with that, just stop a minute and listen to what I’m saying” than being in allowance of her and where she is. Not surprisingly that approach made us both feel a little icky. When someone is really in their story, when and how do you change the conversation with out seeming bossy?
Also, I’m allowing myself a lot of mind drama over this experience and finding myself not wanting to coach again. Which is silly. It’s highlighting my perceived faults around being a coach. Any guidance would be appreciated. Thank you.