Deciding to apply to become a LCS coach

I’d love some feedback on my model, especially on the R line:

C – Decision to apply to become a LCS coach
T – I don’t want to apply until I know I’ll be accepted
F – Hesitant
A – Overthink the decision, put a lot of weight behind what it’ll mean if I apply and don’t get accepted of if I apply and do get accepted and how I’m going to manage another thing on my plate, judge myself for having a hard time making this decision, think that it really doesn’t matter if I get accepted or not and that I just need to make a decision and have my own back
R – I don’t make a decision

I’ve heard from coaches that it’s normal to take a few tries to get accepted and that it’s a “coveted job”. I’m not even sure if I want to work for the LCS and suspect that I’m using that as a measurement of “success.” It’s like I’m thinking that if I get accepted as a LCS coach, then I’ve “made it.” I know this isn’t true, and I can decide what success looks like for me. If I had a successful life coaching business, I don’t think I’d be thinking that I needed to apply to become a LCS coach to feel “legit”. I’m creating a lot of mind drama around this decision, and would love some ideas on alternative thoughts to think to make this decision.