Feeling too old to up level my work


Recently I’ve discovered some sneaky thoughts about my age which keep creeping up on me. As background, I want to say that I’ve just got a promotion at work (I am a therapist), while at the same time my private practice has doubled within a year in income. In all areas of my work life, my career as a therapist, teacher and supervisor has thrived this last year and I am really driven & eager to do more – e.g. to use my website to create courses, to write a book etc.

So, I am now at a point in my career and life that I want to push it all a level up and aim for a significant increase in my income. And also, for a better use of my existing financial resources, as I was following the ‘same old’ path for years. This last year has shown me what I can do when I put my mind to it and I want to build on that, hence joining Scholars this September.

Yet have a look at 2 models this morning, the kind of thoughts I battle with.  Feedback?

Model on Unintentional Thought 1:
C: Woke up
T: There’s something about waking in the morning recently that makes me feel old old old
F: Downcast
A: Create thoughts/ideas about the day ahead of me involving fatalism and despondency – ‘I’m stuck in a rut. Every day is the same’;
Thoughts about ‘my body creaking and aching’;
Even though all of my days are in fact not at all the same, that thought insists on a loop;
Discourages me from seeing my day with fresh eyes & planning things that delight me, around and aside from my busy work schedule;
Starts my day with a gloomy feeling;
R: Create a ‘stuck in a rut’ and ‘I’m past it’ feeling in my day

Model on Unintentional Thought 2:
C: Read FB post about turning 50 (I’m now 48)
T: I’m too old: I don’t have time to do the things I want. It’s ridiculous to even try. It’s too late.
F: Shame
A: Intense thoughts about my plans which involve up levelling my business as a therapist and using my financial resources in more innovative ways;
Forget that in the last year my business as a therapist almost doubled in income & that I’m a good path and can do a lot more. Put that aside & mock myself;
Tell myself ‘you’ve achieved ENOUGH. Don’t try for more. It’s greedy. It’s shameful for someone your age’;
These feelings directly lead to a pull towards inaction in a number of areas;
Mood follows me in the day, leads to not making good choices in how I spend my time.
R: I don’t do the things I want to up level my business.