I feel dead inside. How can I access my feelings so I can let them pass through me?


I work as a mindset coach and last year, I made 120K. I felt on top of the world and entered this year being absolutely certain that I will rock this year and make 250K. Since the Corona Virus hit, I feel totally numb. I don’t feel consciously anxious and I’m not aware of the thoughts that create this numbness. I just procrastinate and feel as if something was taken from me, as if somebody stole my drive, my passion, my mission, my vision. I don’t recognize myself.

I do keep up simple routines such as workouts and my basic task for my business. However, I do not follow through on important strategic tasks for my business. I have a launch coming up and just I half-ass it. I would even prefer to cancel it (and today decided not to, mainly to follow through on what I have already promised). I just show up for my clients and I do the bare minimum. Also, being a mindset coach, I am disappointed of myself that my brain still seems to run the show … and that all this knowledge does not help me these days.

I feel nothing. I want to do nothing. I just want to sit in my living room and puzzle all day. Today, I had the thought “I am going to make 250K this year even under these circumstances” – but I don’t believe it. I don’t act on it. I feel dead inside. How can I access my feelings so I can let them pass through me?

A few models I’ve done:

C – Corona
T – I don’t feel anything
F – numb
A – procrastinate, puzzle for hours, distracting on social media, binging Brooke’s podcast and scholars calls
R – Nothing seems to change

C – Launch is coming up during the corona virus crisis
T – I don’t think this is going to work out
F – numb
A – procrastinate, stop FB ads for my webinar, do the bare minimum in my business, stop investing in my business, do not plan my week properly, puzzle, prioritise self care: work out, eat healthy, rest
R – I’m not myself anymore

Intentional Model:
C – My Launch is coming up during the corona virus crisis
T – Even if I just help one person with my program it’s worth it
F – neutral
A – I give as much as I can, a bit more every day
R – I can handle this and all its consequences