Is this Self-Sabotage?


I have been approached recently for an appointment by a potential client in relation to a case I had high level oversight/involvement with in connection with my role in a professional association. Because of this involvement, I asked the president of the association, before accepting the appointment, whether he thought I could accept or whether he thought I was conflicted due to my previous high level involvement. He thought the latter and said it would be risky for the reputation of the institution and for my own reputation if I accepted the appointment and it would later become known I had previous high level involvement in the matter. So I declined even though this appointment would have been high value.

I thereafter spoke with other members of the association about this case who told me that they did not see a problem, that I should have accepted. I regret not having pushed through and having declined the mandate. I cannot get over it and think it may have been a form of self-sabotage or lack of confidence? How can I move past that and learn for the future?