It comes back to me

I recently noticed that how I show up in my marriage is showing up in my business too. Many times I’m on either extreme- one side being “I need you so much that I can barely breathe without you” and the other being “I don’t need you and you don’t matter to me.” I’m being a bit exaggerated with these, but the point of it is that I’m not very often in the middle. Not usually in a place of balance with how much I need him. I just recognized myself feeling needy with people on my email list, but then thinking “I don’t need you” for people that read my blog. I think this comes from my relationship with myself- I don’t have that quiet confidence in me and where I stand with me. So of course I’m not sure about where I stand with others, even someone that has been there for many years. Any recommendations for where to start with this?