Keep believing ahead of time after 5 years of never reaching my goal

C: Business
T: It is not working as I thought it would be
F: Stressed
A  I wake up feeling stressed
I go to sleep feeling stressed
I don’t organize my time to be as productive as possible
I am not effective when I work therefore I increase the amount I am working
OR I avoid working
I tell myself that I don’t know what to do
I avoid trying things because I have proof that the things I have been trying in the last 5 years have not been working the way I thought they would
R: I create a miserable relationship with myself at work and I don’t create my results

Here are the facts:
I have been a life coach for mums for 5 years. I don’t have any certification. I have been selling 1:1 coaching and since December, I stopped selling 1:1. I now sell a membership.
When selling 1:1 I had that thought “mums can’t afford 1:1” and “what I have to offer isn’t worth that price.” I wasn’t able to overcome those thoughts during those 5 years so I changed my C line by changing my offer and creating a membership.

Now I 100% believe that I am overdelivering and that everyone can afford my price. My goal was to keep creating 20 clients each month.
I created 20 clients in December, 20 clients in January.
I created 3 in February and 7 members left. I was shocked. I wasn’t expecting that at all. My thought in February was “I did it! I have found the right offer for myself and for my clients.” I really enjoyed marketing, making offers and coaching…

I decided to take responsibility and to evaluate. I took a week to evaluate and to change what needed to be change in my marketing.
Mostly I was spinning. That week turned into a month of feeling miserable and telling myself that I was not “really” believing in my success and that something was wrong with me.
Therefore in March I didn’t make any offers. I have 7 members who left. I have now 26 members.
I am now more focused than ever on the thought “it is not working and I have huge doubts about the possibility of it working as I think it would”

I have heard Brooke say many times that the amount of failures is more important than the amount of success.
I have heard her say many times too that she is crazy successful and that she creates her results most of the time.
There is something I don’t get.
If she is crazy successful, she is therefore supposed to be crazy failing? Is that right?

I guess she doesn’t let her failures meaning anything about her success to be?
How do you do that?
How do you keep believing 100% ahead of time when you keep failing?
I guess it took my brain more and more effort to believe.
When I started, my level of belief was strong because I never failed.
Now 5 years later, I failed a lot and I never reached my long term goal. My brain has a hard time continuing to believe.
Therefore, even though I have more experience and even if I consider myself a better coach now, I have less belief ahead of time.

Can you give me some coaching here ?