I am working on this topic since almost 1 year and the same unintentional model keeps on being “triggered” by external factors (see below). It’s been always a big dream of mine to work for a certain period overseas. At the same time, I managed to move in together with my boyfriend which, likewise, has always been very important to me. I truly appreciate every day being together with him and don’t want to miss a second of his company in my lifetime. However, I am scared of missing out on the experience of working abroad and regretting this at one point.

C: Dream of working overseas and wish to be close to my boyfriend as much as possible
T: I cannot have both, I need to decide which is more important to me
F: Conflicted/hopeless
A: I apply half heartedly, I can’t see a way to manage to have both, I look for reasons why I cannot achieve having both, I just continue as it is at the moment, I am dissatisfied with the situation, I have low self esteem
R: I pretend to take action while I am actually just creating drama around staying where I am

I have been working on believing I could achieve both at the same time, but when I hear of people moving abroad to work there, all my thought work seems to crumble. I truly want both and I know that my wish of being together with my boyfriend is not out of comfort only, but truly the decision I took consciously. It feels terrible having to decide between pursuing my dreams and being together with the man of my dreams.

Could you help with getting another perspective on this?

Thanks!