I am working on this topic since almost 1 year and the same unintentional model keeps on being “triggered” by external factors (see below). It’s been always a big dream of mine to work for a certain period overseas. At the same time, I managed to move in together with my boyfriend which, likewise, has always been very important to me. I truly appreciate every day being together with him and don’t want to miss a second of his company in my lifetime. However, I am scared of missing out on the experience of working abroad and regretting this at one point.
C: Dream of working overseas and wish to be close to my boyfriend as much as possible
T: I cannot have both, I need to decide which is more important to me
A: I apply half heartedly, I can’t see a way to manage to have both, I look for reasons why I cannot achieve having both, I just continue as it is at the moment, I am dissatisfied with the situation, I have low self esteem
R: I pretend to take action while I am actually just creating drama around staying where I am
I have been working on believing I could achieve both at the same time, but when I hear of people moving abroad to work there, all my thought work seems to crumble. I truly want both and I know that my wish of being together with my boyfriend is not out of comfort only, but truly the decision I took consciously. It feels terrible having to decide between pursuing my dreams and being together with the man of my dreams.
Could you help with getting another perspective on this?