Today I coached a coach (peer coach) and she believes that her client’s results depend on her explanations, her tools, and her quality as a coach. I explained to her all the ways I could that she was putting herself in her client’s model but she thinks it is not a problem. I don’t know what to do.

I see the irony that by me wanting her to see that she is in her client’s model that I put myself in her model 😂 But I still don’t know how to show her that the problem is that if she thinks she’s the one who needs to motivate her clients that she is going to try to manipulate them so that they move towards their own result so that she can think of herself as a great coach.

I showed her that the point is to think this work is the client’s result because our value as a coach depends on our thoughts about our work as a coach, how we show up, how we give tools, and especially how we show the clients their minds but our value never depends on the client’s result. The client’s result depends on the client’s actions which depend on the client’s feeling which comes from the client’s thought. So our job is to show the client their thoughts. Giving practical tools is just a way to help them see their thoughts, it’s not a way to find a magical tool that will help them get their result.

What can I do now to show her that or to accept that it is ok if she doesn’t see it? Right now, I don’t believe at all it is ok! I make it means she’s having a thought error, she does not see it, and I don’t find a way to show her. I know it’s ironic, isn’t it? 😉