Need Help with a Possibly a Mixed Model


I would like to wipe this model from my stratosphere! I’ve allowed it to control me and not show up. I would like to look at it more cleanly so that I can just move through it and past it.

C: Sharon messages me, “I can’t tell the difference between your business page and personal page, your business stuff should stay on your business page not personal”
T: I shouldn’t be doing this
F: panicked, anxious, wrong (actually I think it’s shame)
A: I don’t show up at all. I stop writing on my personal page and I hold back on what I really want on my business page. If I do write on my personal page, it’s only personal stuff not inspirational. I hold back. I judge myself. I think about it a lot DEEPER than I’ve ever done in the past.
R: I don’t put myself out there in my business. Results in $0 business.

I have a lot of other thoughts that I think could go in the C line like:
> I’m not allowed (maybe that’s a better thought to put in the first model)
> I’ve allowed her words to hold me back. (I originally had this in the C line because I do feel like this is my new C resulting from the above model)

I ask myself “why am I doing that?”  I can’t seem to access any more thoughts here, can you help me on this? I really want to let this go but can’t seem to at all.

I coached her for free when I was in certification and then again when I was testing out a free program. She was a CEO who I was involved with in the network for my other business. At first, I felt uncomfortable that I semi-knew her and she was “above me” but she reached out to me because of a situation happening with her and her family from what/when I was posting on my SM back then. It came at the perfect time because I needed someone to coach. I was actually proud of myself that I was able to help her, not get in the pool and show up to help her. She was immensely grateful for my help.

This occurred way after that, but here I am and this is still getting in the way because she’s constantly in my thoughts.

I feel like I walk on eggshells like she has authority over me. What can I do to let this go? Please help me to create some wiggle room around this. Maybe it’s just getting back on the horse and show up like a big girl.

I don’t know why I feel shame. But me and shame have a long history so I steer clear away from shame. I want to show up and GO and move on.

this just came as I’m looking over this and I put, “Try to be liked” in the action line.
C – SM
T – I want to be liked
F – scared
A – I don’t know what to do, paralyzed in fear, try to be “perfect” when I post, spend hours perfecting my post, try not to ruffle any feathers (I know I have some thoughts in the action line)
R – I don’t put myself out there authentically

Thanks for your help! Goodbye T, see you around. I’m moving forward, this is so silly but it is holding me back. I want to let this go once and for all. How can I be powerful and courageous in my business?