Not an individual person, but trying to break into a certain department on film sets


I have the thought about these people that I want to have hire me. It’s not a single person, I can get hired from anyone in the department and it’s hard to get invited in. It’s many people who need to see that I’m capable, have room for me on that particular day, and hire me into their departments.

Thoughts are:
– They don’t need me, they have their people.
– They don’t want to let me in.
– They are stuck-up and act like they are more important than me
– They don’t care about me
– They see me as competition so they won’t help me

I feel disconnected, sad, and/or pissed off.

A- come from a trying place, a people pleasing place, like I’m trying to get something and it feels off
R – not working so well, I am always trying.

So, do I sit in the pissed off feeling? Feel what it feels like and not be afraid to feel it? Or is that more for shame or fear or sadness?  When do you feel the feeling and when do you do the intentional model? Thanks!