Not being heard

I asked a VA I work with sometimes if she could do 3 things for me.
She said she could, but then the thing that was the most pressing wasn’t being done, (after a week) I found someone else. The 2nd person will be able to do this task on a regular bases and it felt like a big relief finding her.
I emailed the VA and said no need to do X task, just to focus on the other 2 things. And she thanked me for the update. Then today I get a message from her saying that she tried to do task X but it looks like its already been done!
Not being heard is a big thing for me throughout my life.
It’s now big trigger for me, and in this case its more annoying because I will be charged for her time, for her not remembering /hearing me say ‘don’t do task X’
Another on going theme for me (throughout my life) is that even when I do the right thing..I am in the wrong. In this case, I told her don’t do X , but now I feel that I am in the wrong because she tried to do it and it had already been done.

Writing this now, I think I can feel grateful for her bring these themes and triggers to light so I can work through them. But they seem so big and have so much emotion around them, I am not sure how.