Hi, below I answered your insightful questions designed to help me know my self-sabotaging self and how to interrupt this process. Bodily I tend to go flat, numb and in a zone difficult to disrupt when I punish myself with “I’m not going to x,y, z” Thank you for this deep inquiry. I am guessing I tend to the part that wants other than doing the task- to meet my needs somehow?
Q. What I’m making it mean that I don’t send videos/offers/follow up:
1) it has been so long, wasn’t valued info bc the tech is something I didn’t look at or review, exhaustion heavy body a big blocking hurdle 2) it means I don’t have follow through and am full of excuses 3) means I am not professional 4) means I am not trustworthy in business, that I don’t hold up my end of the bargain- can not be relied on 5) that I have no system, am cluttered and not organized 6) that I’m all alone in these two businesses, everything depends on me and I don’t want to be reliable 7) that I’m expected to function 8) that people want things from me 9) that I am not “robot function” something broken needs to be fixed so I fall into the navel gazing trap of self coaching with no accountability 10) that I’m neuro-diverse and need adhd diagnosis and medicine 11) that I don’t want to work 12) that I deserve this punishment rebellion cycle 13) that others are more capable, smarter, more fill in the blank 14) that I am grieving 4 recent deaths and other excuses 15) that I don’t want to (when I really do want to) 16) that I need to hire some help 17) that I asked 3 people to help already
About the offers:
1) I don’t send because I don’t know what I am offering (what am I selling? why am I selling?) 2) I resent that it is all up to me and I am supposed to know 3) why am I a life coach 4) that I might not feel like doing the work after people pay 5) that I need to follow the trend of “look at me and how happy I am- insert photo of self put together like a product” – and now you can be like me if you buy what I sell 6) that is physically hurts to double my rates
Q. There is a side of you that doesn’t want to follow up with your clients. What does that version of you want in the moment instead?
The version of me that wants instead of following up is angry, sad, frustrated and stuck. She wants to be heard, cared for and understood. She wants help- a plan that guides, trusts and explains why it is a good thing to function in business. She wants love, appreciation and tenderness. She wants encouragement and celebration, wants to be valued, included and wanted without force. She wants fun, beauty, appreciation and laughter- instead she has buffering on a couch. She wants a trusting timeline to complete tasks.
Q. What would it look like instead to feel compassionate or curious about yourself?
It would like like:
1) writing all this out, taking in your feedback and answering the questions on how to best support myself and take responsibility that I am truly creating the opposite of what I desire. 2) I would pray and ask for help, break down the task by trusting myself to choose and add a time for each task and level of importance. 3) I would be curious what is my best fuel for the activity- what to eat, what time of the day will I master the task- do I get a reward after? 4) I’d rip the band aid off of coddling self-sabotage with excuses 5) maybe I would do a 30 day game of 10 min a day? Or decluttering?
Q. How might this be a chance to grow even more capable in business and as a coach?
If I can complete tasks, create a filing system, declutter and succeed at my goals I would be a better and more capable coach because I would be like successful coaches who may be screwed up people that help other screwed up people get less screwed up- and I might love it and love myself more for all of this!