Noticing I may be "using" my clients


I’ve been a coach for a while and I’ve recently been really diving into improving my coaching. With this focus I’ve had a realization that I often use my clients to feel good about myself and my coaching. Not always, but doing it even once is not how I want to show up with clients. I’d say I have an agenda for them which is you (client) need to get some value from this coaching and additionally, you need to change. It seems to be coming from my attempt to “overdeliver”–a concept which I want to engage in, but have never really understood what overdelievering really meant.
C-coaching clients
T-I must overdeliever, which means my clients must “get” something out of every session.
F-heavy
A-Coach with an agenda
-Use my clients to feel successful or unsuccessful as a coach
-Push my clients (done in a way that I’m guessing is not serving them, but not sure how to judge this)
-I don’t (maybe) hear them.
-I miss (possibly) opportunities to really coach and show them what their thinking is getting them because I’m so focused on what I want to give them/show them.
R-Have a hard time getting new clients because I’m showing up in convincing energy.
-I underdeliever and clients don’t get all they could from my coaching.

I’m not really sure what my question is. I guess I mostly just wanted someone else to read this and offer any insight or perspective they see.

The one question I do have is what is overdelivering? I currently coach 1:1 private clients for 6 months and they get email and text access to me basically 24/7. I also send them a beautiful journal when they sign up and send them flowers on their birthday. Somehow this doesn’t exactly seem like overdelivering either. What does overdelievering look like if it isn’t giving my clients amazing results, which even as I say this sounds ridiculous since I know I can’t create their experience, only their thoughts can.