Owning my value

We’re working on a new system for collecting and using testimonials in my business and this has meant collating testimonials which date as far back as 10 years ago. Many of them have simply sat in our dropbox archives and we haven’t published them on social media or sales pages. Today I spent the afternoon looking through hundreds of testimonials all of which share impressive and significant results for my clients, and yet I am still doubting the value I have created for my clients and my ability to create value now. I read a blog post from Amy Porterfield where she shared her business goal of curating 1000 testimonials by 2022 and I realized that we probably have close to this figure already. But I can’t possibly compare myself to Amy because, well, she’s Amy and her business is far more successful than mine. The truth is, I’ve struggled with my own confidence and motivation in business for a few years now, so even though I all of this proof about the difference my programs and coaching have made, I am dismissing it ‘that doesn’t really count’. Some of the clients are no longer working with me so it seems disingenuous to use their testimonials now. I also think that if they REALLY valued me/my programs then I would have retained them as clients. I feel low and depressed. It seems that I am unable to see my value even when the evidence of contribution is right in front of me.

C: Testimonials, historical and recent
T: Wow, there’s a lot of social proof here. It’s too old, that doesn’t really count. You’ll look desperate if you post that on social media now
F: Low, depressed
A: question if this is credible/viable social proof. Not showing up boldly. Doubting myself
R: I’m not showing up

After this first model, I did a thought download on the topic of ‘all these testimonials’ and here were some of the thoughts I wrote down

wow, this is an impressive collection of social proof
If I haven’t retained the client, then I didn’t really make a difference, because if I did they would still be working with me.
It’s not usable. It’s too old.
There are a lot of impressive quick wins/windfalls but less of long term success so I ultimately failed.
I’ve failed.
I can’t use testimonials that aren’t current.
If I really made all this difference, why aren’t they still my clients?
How did I mess up so much potential?
What’s wrong with me?

Can you help me start to unravel this please?