Staring failure in the face and getting to decide what it means – Removing drama from my life


I had a goal to earn an extra $1K by Sept 1 to pay a bill. I didn’t make the goal. I had $700, $400 of which I used to pay for other family costs. I was able to contribute $300 and by not paying my credit card bill, another $200, so I paid $500 and am now $500 over my bank limit.
I have been working on my IG which would pay for my $1K. My IG is $30K from a digital product.
I was very anxious about not achieving my $1K goal. I did a lot of thought work on that.

Here I am now. I can’t take any money out of my account for anything, food, fuel etc
And It’s ok.
Brooke said last week, there is math and there is drama.
I understand that now.
I mean, it’s just a number. It doesn’t mean anything.
Everything that I bought last month I would buy again. Everything I paid for I would pay for again.

I don’t want to ask family to help me. I want to do this myself.
I realize that the result of me wanting to do it myself is that I’m $500 down on my goal. And that made me feel really empowered. I chose to solve my problem this way, and this is the result. I intentionally set out to solve the problem on my own and this is my result. And I would choose the same path today: figuring it out myself over asking for money to solve the problem.

In the midst of working on my IG – getting up at 5am to write blog posts, working on my business in the morning and the evenings, our internet connection went down and we had no internet for 9 days. That did stress me out. But then I calmed down, I managed to get one blog post out by going into work in the evening and used up all my mobile data, working on my business on my tiny phone – creating pins and scheduling tailwind on an iphone 5. yay!

And it doesn’t mean anything until I decide what it does mean.
And this is what it meant:
It means I stuck with it
It means I didn’t give up
It means I am resilient
It means I am resourceful

My IM is:
C: I don’t have enough money to do everything I want to do
T: I am resilient and resourceful and don’t give up.
F: empowered
A: Go back to financial goals. Recommit, reset and take massive action. Write thought downloads and do models. remember useful phrases – I’ve got my own back, I can do hard things, I’m committed to m y goals. Think from my future self. Recommit to MH1, incorporate 80% to work more effectively. Re write out my goals for this year in terms of results I want to achieve. Don’t go back to actions that previously have not served.
R: Blow my own damn mind!

Is that how it’s done? Triumph from adversity? Can you see anything underlying that might be a watch out in terms of an UM I might be unaware of?
Thanks so much.
Before I joined scholars I would have reacted in such a different way. I’m 9 months in, and can feel a transformation in me.