Stressed about money of my own doing!

Hi! I’ve had a solid one-on-one coaching business for years now and in order to scale my business, I invested $20K+ into marketing (landing pages, email automation, video/course creation, virtual assistant, social media manager, paid ads, etc.) and stopped taking on new clients for the last 4-5 months while I focus on building things up. As a result, I’ve drained my savings and am in $15K of debt. All of this was my conscious choice. Because my business is quite solid, I told myself that worst case scenario, I could just go back to taking on one-on-one clients and pay off my debt that way even if my group program doesn’t take off. But despite all this, my anxiety about money is through the roof. And THEN I get scared that my anxiety about making money will prevent me from making money, so then I doubt that even my back-up plan of one-on-one clients will fail. Or I worry that I’ll have lost my touch or ability to enroll clients. I’m basically fretting about all these future things I can’t control so much right now. I also keep thinking I could have anticipated this, that I could have slowed down and saved up more money first, rather than tapping into my line of credit. But I felt impatient and ready to run with things, and I am not great at saving money historically, so figured, why not just focus on making more money rather than saving. I’m feeling stuck in a rut of anxiety and then anxiety about the anxiety and doubting my decisions. I realize I may just need to allow the anxiety to be there at this point, and that that’s ok. However, I would LOVE some outside input here while I spin in the vortex of my mind and self-doubting thoughts! I guess to make this into a question: how do I start to feel better about money? I know rationally I’ve not made unsmart decisions here – my business is strong and there’s lots of demand for my work. But I am still dominated by the fear of everything failing, my investment not paying off, and being stuck in debt and limited in my freedom as a result (which has happened in the past, and I then I was debt free for the past 5 years up until now). And what can I do to prepare myself to be open to receiving money, despite the angst I feel around it? I’m afraid by not feeling good around money, it’ll be harder to make (which has also been my experience in the past!) so there’s that extra level of anxiety around it. Not helpful, I realize, but it’s there. Thanks in advance!