Taking responsibility for my $ R – model revealed a hidden T

I joined SCS last week to work on my money mindset and focus on my business goals. I can say (even though I feel the resistance) that I am excited about what is possible. I am excited and nervous to say that and I recognize that it is part of my thought work journey here. I watched the money belief teaching modules and am about to start the money belief coaching call recordings. I also watched Jamie Berman’s live $ coaching call yesterday and decided to model several versions of one specific T – taking responsibility for my $R is scary and taking responsibility for my $R is a burden and then I hit on what’s really going on in my mind. It is a big recognition for me and I’d like some coaching on my models, specifically how to develop new TFAR about becoming this new person who has $ abundance. I know that I need to keep practicing the T by repeating it to myself daily. What else? I decided to go with a bridge T in my second model. It feels right in my body and seems like a place from which to take action. Thank you so much!

C – $ results
T – I don’t want to be responsible for my $ R
F – resistant (sprinkled with a dash of intense fear)
A – cry. Listen to everything (SCS, 2k for 2k, podcasts), vomit up negative Ts and ruminate in them. Look for evidence from past that confirms that I cannot make different $ results. Doubt everything I hear and learn. Take action from shame. Distrust teachers I intentionally decided to listen to. Engage in the coaching that I paid for in fear/scarcity instead of from an investment perspective. Think of those payments as a deficit (financial loss) from a scarcity mindset. Hoard the money I do have and worry about spending it and paying. Worry about the money I spent on coaching certification, SCS, 2k for 2 k, etc. Think that becoming this new person that I will become with my new mindset is a betrayal of my family’s hard past. Believe that to honor my family’s past trauma that impacted our entire community that I need to stick in my current scarcity $ hardship. Think that I’m not allowed to become this new person with $ results that are different from the past. Take actions that “succeed” just enough to make my deceased father proud but “fail” enough to stay a victim. (THESE LAST THREE SENTENCES HIT ME LIKE A BRICK. THAT’S THE BREAKTHROUGH!)
R – I don’t take responsibility for my $R (or continue $ R that I do not want – 0$ paying clients)

C – $ results
T – this could be my time
F – curious/intrigued
A – Notice what’s already different about me from my coaching certification and learning from 2k for 2k and SCS. Notice my desire to be different that creeps up as optimistic in the doom feeling. Focus on that optimism. Differentiate now from past. Take action from this current place. Seek out coaching for help growing these new beliefs to create new $ results.
R – Begin my abundance-fueled with relationship with $ business goals.