Terror around business debt and reinvention

I’ve had a “time for money” business model for decades as a speaker, trainer, facilitator, coach, consultant. I’ve tried many times to leverage my expertise through online courses, group coaching, hiring help, but still I haven’t been making enough to switch over to that business model full time. It’s been a “side hustle” for years and tried to fit in between my regular ways of earning.

In retrospect, I see from the SCS work, that all kinds of fears were keeping me from fully committing to this path. After doing the inner work and fully committing to this new path, I noticed my old ways of making a living dried up. On the one hand I felt relieved to have the time to focus on the new direction, but on the other it meant burning through savings and going into debt.

I am finally ready to fully launch with a whole new infrastructure, systems, staff, content. I’m really excited and proud of it all, and keep doing the inner work. That said, I wake up in terror every day. I’m just being with the terror and working hard on believing this will work, but some days it feels so hard to keep ahold of the vision. Some days, I feel like I’m 3 feet from gold and other days I feel like I’m delusional and will fail like so many others have.

Here are the models I’m working on. Any tips for taking this new thought deeper?

C = $100K in the red
T = I am NOT the type of person who can do this
F = doubting and fearful
A = Avoiding doing the launch
R = Still not launched my new business and even more in debt by June 2020

C = $100K in the red
T = I am the type of person who can do this and I’m 3 feet from the gold
F = confident and excited
A = Going full steam ahead with the launch
R = Successfully launched my new business and $100K in the black by June 2020