I’m not even sure what I’m afraid of exactly. Just that the emotion in my body is a constant mixture of worry and fear. Buffering is the only thing that calms it down.

I set a goal of 5 new clients by August 31. I have one. I’ve made 15 individual offers. I don’t want to make anymore. I want to crawl into my cave. Making offers is the thing that makes me want to throw up in fear- the thing I know I need to do in my next step. It is eating me alive. The thought that it is eating me alive, that I can’t handle the fear, and I can’t process it. I want to be able to move forward and keep making offers even though it scares me. But I keep buffering.

I know the idea of let the fear be there and do it anyways. I don’t feel I’m there yet but I want to be. I want to believe that fear is just an emotion, but right now it seems to be a swirl that is itchy and makes me want to die.

How do I keep moving forward, even with this emotion present? I don’t want to change the C and slow down or change my goal. But I feel I’m nowhere close and there is no end in sight.