Wavering Commitment to my Business, based on belief that it won’t work

I am filling out the “Brain Management” worksheet in the Entrepreneurs section in the vault.

I wrote about my “belief” in my biz. But am having a hard time writing about my “commitment” to my business. I’m 6 years in and have grown slowly and steadily over the years. But I frequently doubt the longevity of my business (even though I do love it. I’m a holistic health coach).

I feel like I am chasing my tail and feeling insecure all the time, not about myself but about “is this a REAL business?” Even though I have made $50K so far this year, my biggest yet, I just feel like a fake “entrepreneur,” like it’s all on my shoulders. Or, like if I slow down and don’t post on social regularly, it is all going to disappear. Like everything I have worked so hard to create isn’t respectable because it’s not like I am doctor or lawyer, a “real” professional.

I am regularly in hustle mode, and I wonder, how long do I want to keep this up? If I got a high paying job offer to work for someone else, wouldn’t it be a HUGE relief?

I am doing the “Believing New Things: workbook too (Entrepreneur material in small bits during the day, 2 pages of Believing new things, at night).

It all seems to come back to: “what if this isn’t viable?” “what if I’m just chasing my tail here, while other people are doing less risky things that are going to care a more stable financial future for them?”

I want to grow and expand (and I do have one part-time employee now!), but I feel like it’s all on my shoulders and I have to constantly hustle to prove the legitimacy of the fact that I don’t play it “safe” with more traditional career paths, like the rest of my family.

It’s hard to feel committed to something that may not be “real,” legitimate, or create security for me and my family.