Why do I give away so much? (Want to understand myself better)


Hi Team Brooke,

Usually, I’m quite firm with boundaries and billing. But in the last weeks/months I became sloppy and I want to understand better (and change it again).

Example:
Today I had planned to offer a live group coaching. But tonight and this morning I found myself with some (very mild, but still) symptoms of flu. So I wrote everybody an email (at 6.a., the training was planned for 9), telling them what was happening and that we would turn it to a zoom meeting. One of the participants wrote back, that this had made her really angry, I should have at least called everybody. In the training, I excused first thing for the trouble and offered it all for free (so that’s a minus of nearly 600$ for me). When this person repeated her request, I told them, that it’s not possible for me to do that (no more reasons) and everybody was fine with that.

My original model:
C: person tells I should have called instead
T: I’m responsible for their hassle
F: self-blame (fear of their anger)
A: saying everybody gets this 3hour training for free
R: angry on myself

Intentional model (that’s where I need your support – what DO I intend??)
C: person tells I should have called instead
T: it’s her right to be angry and I’m doing what I’m deciding to do
F: acceptance (of her and of me)
A: doing the coaching, billing as planned
R: getting paid

Intentional doesn’t really feel like a fit (although it sounds like something I would like to think) – can you see what I’m missing?
Thank you!